Cutting Yourself Off

Say goodbye to the bank of Mom and Dad

Your parents love you; we are 97% sure. They have enjoyed the past 20 years, give or a take a few, watching you grow, helping you when you need it, and providing the environment you need in order to thrive.

They’ve probably stayed up late to help you with your problems. Shuttled you to far away places so you didn’t miss practice or games. And maybe even given you money when you were strapped for cash and needed it to go see your favorite band.

The bottom line is that your parents have tried their best to be there for you. And now it’s time for you to give back—by telling them no.

When to cut the apron springs

Once you’ve got a job and have started your post-graduation career, you should stop accepting your parents’ offers to pay for things.

Why? Because it’s time for you to become a full-fledged adult—something you can’t do if you’re relying financially on a parent.

It won’t be easy to do, but your financial future will be that much stronger the sooner you let go of your parents’ financial teat (yeah, we said it).

The sooner you are able to control your finances without relying on others, the sooner you will be in a position to take control of your life. If you continue to ask for financial help, your parents could prevent you from doing the things you want to do.

We’ve experienced it in our own lives, and we’ve seen it in others: family members throwing guilt toward children when they refuse to do something and using the money that they’ve given them as the source of guilt.

The amount of tension and problems that money can cause can be extreme, and it’s important that you do what you can to avoid such a situation.

How to cut the apron strings

So, we’ve talked about the dangers of not becoming financially independent, but how do you go about doing that?

Develop a post-graduation schedule that outlines when you will become financially independent. It could take several months to get to this stage—which is fine. It’s important to know when you’ll start taking over your expenses so every party involved understands your plans for being on your own.

If you are living at home after graduation to save money and/or holding yourself steady while you try and find a job, express a desire to take care of some of the household bills or volunteer to pay some of the household expenses.

Your parents will appreciate it and, down the road, you will too.

If you’re nervous about becoming financially independent, that’s what IU MoneySmarts is here for: to help you build the tools you need to become a financial master and navigate the financial world on your own.

Feel free to schedule an appointment with a member of the IU MoneySmarts Team to help you make a plan for your future.