Love is a wonderful thing—but it’s not always cheap. Especially when it’s time to pop the question and start planning a wedding.
It is possible to tie the knot without going into debt, even on a college student (or new graduate) budget. You just have to use your moneysmarts.
First things first. You know that rule that says you’re supposed to spend three months’ salary on an engagement ring? Forget about it.
If you’re a college student, three months’ salary may buy you a bag of ring pops. If you’re a recent grad making $40,000, three months’ salary means you’re going to spend about $6,000 (approximate net income) on a ring.
Not a good idea in either case.
You know what else doesn’t make sense? Using a credit card to buy a ring you can’t afford.
Essentially, as a person new to the credit world, putting that much on your credit card could get you flagged for carrying a high balance. And that will negatively impact your credit for the next seven years.
Not cool.
So what is the right amount? It’s whatever you can reasonably afford to spend and still be able to pay all of your bills comfortably—now and in the future.
If your parents are footing the bill for the festivities, you might be tempted to go a little crazy when you start planning your wedding.
Before you do, ask yourself whether or not you really want your parents to spend that much money on a one-day event.
If they have been saving for the wedding (a big thank you to all the parents who have), you might ask them if some of that money could instead go toward a down payment on a house (great gift for you), funding their own retirement (great gift for them), or paying down any student debt you might have (great gift for all).
While your wedding should be a day to remember, if somebody else is handling the bills, you should still ask yourself, “If I were paying for it, would I spend the money on _________?”
If the answer is no, then why would you make somebody else pay for it?
Wondering if you’re too broke to take a honeymoon? Don’t give up hope. There are ways to save cash and still have a nice trip.
You pick the vacation and the things you want to do and ask your guests to purchase one of those items as a wedding gift.
It could be a meal, an excursion, or anything else that will cut down the cost of your honeymoon.
The downside, of course, is that you may have to spend extra money to get your newly combined home in order.
If you don’t have a lot of cash now, go on a small honeymoon and save for a bigger trip down the road.
One of the smartest financial decisions I ever made was opting for a scaled-back honeymoon immediately after my wedding so my wife and I could save for a trip to New Zealand. That trip became our five-year anniversary celebration.
For our scaled-back honeymoon, we kept it simple and road-tripped to Cedar Point, Niagara Falls, Cooperstown, and hiked through the Poconos. In five days, we spent less than $1,000; and both of us look back fondly on it.
At the end of the day, the best way to save money may be simply committing to spend based on who you are, not how society expects you to do things.
We’re all taught that diamonds are the only way to go. For some, this might be true—and that’s great.
But if that’s not who you and your soon-to-be spouse are and you find yourself getting a diamond because that’s what you’re supposed to do—stop. There are lots of other options out there.
Some people choose a different gemstone that has more personal meaning. Some buy lab-created gems because they feel it’s more environmentally responsible. We’ve even heard of a couple who melted coins together that had the current year and the year they were born.
In all of these cases, the couples saved tons of money by understanding who they were and using that to help them find something symbolic.
If a big wedding is what you want and you can afford it, that’s great. If you’re doing it just because it’s what everybody else does, you may think about who you two are as a couple and figure out if there’s something more meaningful.
The best weddings I’ve ever been to (not counting mine, of course) have involved couples who knew themselves well and brought everybody into that world.
For example, I went to a wedding where the couple had everybody hike to the top of the mountain where they went on their first date. If people were unable to make it to the top, they brought along network-connected iPads that allowed them to stream the ceremony live.
It was beautiful; it was perfect; and it was a perfect representation of them. Oh, and the only costs were for the dress, the suit, and the admission to the state park. Awesome!
The bottom line is that people saved money on these things without sacrificing the quality of them, because they took time to be introspective about who they are and what types of things would best represent that.
